What do you think about my essay?

Ok, well I had 2 essays to do for school. It had to be a rant for hate on a celebrity, and one for regular people.



This is a rant for one of my favorite celebrities! Please nothing rude just comments, cause I haven't finished the one for regular people ;D

[this is for school so I'm hoping its safe]



I believe that teenagers that hate the Jonas Brothers, seriously overreact.

If they think their music is for little girls, then why do you argue with them if you really believe that? I think we all know that they have older audiences too. [I've been to their concert]



Saying they're gay. That doesn't prove anything. [We say expressions like that all the time with out meaning anything really offensive.]

Example-- You are talking to your friend, you comment. -_-

Oh my Gosh your so gay. ( Meaning it as a joke when you have nothing better to say)



They're annoying. Um.. honey have you met them? Please tell me how are they annoying.

I know I haven't met them either but I never said I LOVED them like that!? Love is a lot better than hate.

The haters blabber more about the Jonas Brothers than the Fans do..

Nowadays. Apparently no one likes them, am I the only Jonas Fan in this world?!



My grandma said that they can sing all right. That’s from a mature person, and she is a choir director. Not teenagers who think that their one comment will change the world.

Ah mommy I'm gonna be president now! I spread ALL of my comments around youtube saying the JB sucks gays!



Umm.. Excuse me young woman?

No, ah No mama DON'T.. [Cheesy l.o.l]



Some of you guys say JB is for little kids. Well no, their music is intended for all ages. As you can see on youtube their fans are ages 14+ sometimes I see 11 year olds but not anymore. Mostly their 19.

If you like the freedom called %26quot;freedom of press%26quot; then writing music is a freedom too.

I mean yes you can express your feelings for it, but do you have to be a [not gonna say I’ll get reported] for it. All their doing is living their dream not even bothering to wonder about you guys.



They were 3 or 4 years before Disney, they got dropped in record deals and so on, finally they came across Hollywood Records and has been making music ever since. Is that really a crime. I know you metal haters hate them, but what’s the point, I mean how does it benefit you? Your not gonna get a scholarship that way, and you not gonna be able to live it.

I mean you people “label” them as Disney but that’s just not exactly what they are. Their human beings just like ALL of us. If you can’t understand this and that everyone shouldn’t be treated like doodoo then you are just wrong. From what I hear, like: I support diabetes in his battle AGAINST Nick Jonas. How evil IS that? Fans have you heard it? Its just evil.



Haters, if everybody liked the same thing as you, wouldn't it get BORING. Haters are what keep me going everyday! So the more you hate the MORE I come!

I understand if you say I'm not a fan of them, but you don't have to get all messy and curse them out. It makes you sound sorta dumb. Cause they did NOT do anything at all to hurt you. You make all kinds of sick jokes and things, but I just don’t get it.

I think they could care less of what you have to say about them that way.

You waste more time On JB then some of the fans do.

Saying they are gay is not good enough.

Also they are NOT rock music they are pop. It's called pop-rock basically pop with guitars. No one says they are rock. Sometimes they do but does that really matter? It cares on the individuals opinions, or their perception. Do you need to care about other people's lives as your own.

You can curse all you want but jumbling up a bunch of words like gay fags ya'll are etc.. really isn't much to say.. Also some of you say that they have a backup band. OF COURSE THEY NEED ONE! They can't play guitar, piano, tambourine, drums, bass etc. all at the same time. Come on they are only 3. They try their best and they care about their fans. I mean for TODAY they ARE the best models to little children out there. When they record mostly its themselves, a violinist and a bass.



The purity ring hate comments are bull. That has nothing to do with ME OR YOU. It isn't our business, its their religion, their father is a pastor. Ok? If you get that. Back up in New Jersey, I remember cause my family lives there. [ I never met them though XD]



Saying they are a disgrace to music? YOU are a disgrace to music. If you can’t understand that other people will never be the same and can actually like them, then you are the disgrace. If Jesus was here as a human being whether you believe in him or not, what do you think he would say? Music IS music that's all there is to it. There is no good there is not bad. In the end its all about the feelings of the individual. Not only you.



Sorry its so long guys ...What do you think about my essay?
There isnt any basic essay structure.

Your first paragraph should be introducing the topic, tell the reader who the Jonas Brothers are and what they do (albeit briefly).

You need to structure your paragraphs so that each one talks about a different thing.

Your language is very colloquial, you might want to make it slightly more informal.

Oh and just double check that you're using the same person throughout the whole thing, some parts are first, some are second and some are third. Just keep in consistent.



You've got some good ideas in there, structure them properly and you'll have a winning essay.What do you think about my essay?
I read a few paragraphs and then stopped cuz it was pretty bad but it does depends on how old or what grade your in. You really should delete the paragraph about how the word gay is used in society because its ignorant and offensive. (not trying to be rude)What do you think about my essay?
Maybe give it a more formal tone.

You have some great arguments but sometimes you are repeating it over and over again.

%26quot;Um.. honey have you met them?%26quot; %26lt;%26lt; It sounds very informal, try saying something like %26gt;%26gt; %26quot;Many people who hate Jonas Brothers have never even met them. They are judging a book on its cover.%26quot;